Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
