don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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