they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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