i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
