GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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