And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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