ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
