I feel great
I just peed on a car
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
