RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we're making bets on your personal life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
