there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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