Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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