i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
