i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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