I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
