If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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