12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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