I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
