Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon