is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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