Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.