Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like