It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
