your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Farmville is her only friend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
