Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
