HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
someone owes me an orgasm
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I supernannyed him into submission
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
