So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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