problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
