my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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