I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
