I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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