I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
