I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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