Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
