But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
