Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
