She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
