I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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