This girl is more easily done than said...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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