I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
