you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
