Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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