im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is Oprah even human
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
