I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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