What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize