my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
