just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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