hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
