I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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