Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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