So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize