We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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