your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
