Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
