We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
