you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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