Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
