Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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