I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
