so explain again why im purple
no
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
