The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
