Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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