I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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