Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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